Your email marketing is like a bad date

I will go out on a limb and say that a lot of us have been on nightmare dates in the past. You know, the ones that make you wish you had an eject button on their seat. Maybe you’re one of the lucky few who have avoided the excruciating pain of these dates, and for that, I commend you on your excellent skills of perception. As for the rest of us, the haunting memories will last with us until we enter the grave. Let’s be honest here. Terrible email marketing is just as bad as terrible dates: the constant stream of one-sided conversations, our futile attempts at cutting communication, the (completely obvious) hints of clinginess. If you are involved in bad email marketing, shame on you. I try to unsubscribe from your email lists as fast as possible. Preferably I try to not get on the lists in the first place. There is little doubt that I am not the only one who hates being constantly bombarded by irrelevant email messages.


Here is a condensed list of what makes me sprint to the unsubscribe button:

  • The email contains irrelevant or boring content
  • The design of the email is not eye-catching/pleasant to view
  • You send too many email messages
  • Your content in new emails is no different than previous messages
  • I feel no connection to your company
  • Your promotions aren’t substantial enough


From the dual standpoint of a marketer and a person who receives a lot of junk emails, here are three ideas that address these issues and can enhance your email marketing campaigns:


Create a more efficient email design. You want your dates to be exciting, interesting…even fascinating. In the same way, keep your emails concise and stimulating. No one wants to read dull and long email messages! If your message takes too long to make its point, your customers will quickly lose interest. They will most likely attempt to bang their heads against the nearest wall. Try to keep your messaging brief but not lacking in substance. Limit the amount of email messages you flood into your customers’ inboxes. Don’t be the date that talks so much without actually saying anything. Tailor to your segments. Like a good date, try to learn as much as you can about your readers. Do not think that all of your customers are interested in all of your products and services. If you send out a blanket email to everyone on your list, it will lose effectiveness compared to targeted specific segments. Think about the times where a date has been incredibly flat because of the complete and utter lack of commonality between you and the other person. You can dodge that by employing different email campaigns for specific customer segments. Give your customers a reason to read your email messages. Provide value to your readers through the email messages. If the message is not worth reading, they won’t get anything out of it and may unsubscribe / delete your messages. You do not want to be a boring date. You want to have quality conversations with them, discussing topics that interest them. Make them want to read and click through to your website by piquing these interests. One of your main goals is for your customers to feel a connection to or affinity for your brand, not make them watch the clock and wait for you to stop talking.


Don’t take your customers out on a nightmare date. Follow these tips and hopefully avoid the heartbreak of people unsubscribing from your email marketing. Perhaps you can win over your audience/customers with quality, engaging material that gives each of them reasons to get on board with your company.

TrendsAlex NicholsComment